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Christmas 2011 is winding down, and I have to admit, it turned out to be much more enjoyable than I thought it would 26 hours ago. How sad is it that the high point of this bitter December has been the fact that one day wasn't as bad as I thought it would be?

A lot has changed since I last posted here on the Goon Squad. I don't really want to try and cover all of that business here, but there is one thing in particular that I am going to share, primarily because I feel the need to vent a little. Kinda fucked that I am using this normally happy place to air dark, brooding thoughts. A little disclaimer before I get rolling here, though: I hate when I visit blogs and read this kind of garbage, but tonight...I just don't give a damn.

I've been single now for a little over six years. That little fact has never really spent much time in the fore of my thoughts, but over the past couple of months, it's settled itself there like a leech. I don't like having to acknowledge this, but now it consumes most of my thoughts, and let me tell you: as a 27 year old man, it's particularly brutal. Looking back over those six years and really analyzing them, I realized that this whole ordeal boils down to one simple thing.

I have always wanted something that I cannot have.

There has been plenty of options over the years, but I always turned them down in pursuit of the ones that I knew were never going to work out. This realization was like hitting a brick wall while going Mach dammit, and brothers and sisters, let me just tell you, it hurt. What hurt even worse, though, was when I realized that I'm pretty sure that I'm depressed. Another disclaimer, before I continue: I've always felt that depression is a bullshit diagnosis. Life is just never that shitty. Having said that, allow me to continue.

Depression has nothing to do with being sad. Hell, I'm a fairly happy person about 90% of the time. No, it is another beast entirely. Depression is, simply put, a vast emptiness. This realization began creeping in around 1:30 AM Christmas Eve morning, and really settled in for the long haul about 4:00 PM that same day. There were numerous factors that got the ball rolling on this, and for the sake of not coming off too much like an emo bitch (granted, I already do with EVERYTHING I've said up to this point) I am not going to discuss any of them except for one: fucking Facebook.

I've contemplated deactivating my Facebook account for awhile, but always managed to talk myself out of it...but no, the time has come. It was while checking it during that period that I decided that I had had enough. There were just too many statuses and pictures full of a Christmas cheer that I haven't felt in half a decade, and I absolutely DO NOT begrudge a single person that happiness. In fact, I'm glad to see it. But I can't deal with it...not right now. It just served to emphasize that emptiness on my part.

Not being a part of Facebook for a little over two hours now has actually been kinda nice. I don't find myself randomly checking it just because I can. It's almost as if an obstacle has been removed from my life. And hell, it'll be there whenever I want to give in and rejoin, if I decide to go that route.

I'm sorry for this lousy post, everyone. I really shouldn't even post it, but I feel like not doing it would make the past hour of my life a complete total waste, so fuck it. I do hope that you all had a Merry Christmas, and that the New Year is an awesome one. Be safe this coming week as the celebratory mood heightens, and hopefully my next dance on here won't be such a downer.

It's that time of year

to get that special someone a great gift. This is what i'm getting the rest of the Goons.

Childish Gambino - Bonfire

Big Brother Comes Home for The Holidays

If your reading this right now then you obviously have access to the internet be it through whatever device a smart phone, laptop, etc. And if you’re any thing like me you spend a great deal of time online, in fact the average American now spends an average of thirteen hours per week online. To give you some perspective that is the same amount of time we spend watching television.

Beginning in the mid nineteen nineties the internet started to become an economic boon in the United States, the geniuses of Silicon Valley had came up with an entirely new realm of business opportunities. As the internet has became common place in American life, the profits online business are able to bring in have skyrocketed, the U.S. commerce department has reported that Americans spent an astonishing $165.4 billion online in 2010. That is a major slice of the economy, the new automobile market in the U.S. accounts for $141.5 billion.

There is no denying the internet as an economic force and that its share of the market is here to stay. However there are many internet users, myself include, that see the internet as something more than just a way to make a profit. Many people see it as beacon for free speech, individualism, and creativity, a market place of ideas one that allows the world to interact on a scale never seen in the history of mankind. Yes it has its flaws from email scams, malware, and pedophile predators to the depraved dregs of comment sections. But nowhere else can one so freely traverse through a plethora of content, be it an obscure sexual fetish (for more on the topic see Lucky_Man) one minute to a thesis on quantum mechanics the next. The world is now literally at your fingertips, but recently that access to information has come under threat.

Just in time for the holidays our good friends in Washington on Thursday , hearing the cries for help from some of Americas largest media firms, (you know the same people who cashed in on a share of that record $165 billion) claiming that their copyrights and profits are being unjustly infringed upon by internet piracy. Have introduced two shiny new gift wrapped bills one in the house along with one in the senate, the House Stop Online Piracy Act and the Senate Protect Intellectual Property Act. These bills and their amendments would expand the ability of law enforcement and copyright holders to shut down any site that host pirated content, which either advertently or inadvertently accounts for a huge swath of the content available online. Civil liberty groups, engineers, and many of the largest internet entities (Google, Facebook, and Wikipedia) have come out against the bills citing reasons from censorship and privacy down to engineering and technical issues. Google founder Sergey Brin opined on Google+ Thursday “Imagine my astonishment when the newest threat to free speech has come from none other but the United States. Two bills currently making their way through congress -- SOPA and PIPA -- give the U.S. government and copyright holders extraordinary powers including the ability to hijack DNS and censor search results (and this is even without so much as a proper court trial),” Brin wrote. “While I support their goal of reducing copyright infringement (which I don't believe these acts would accomplish), I am shocked that our lawmakers would contemplate such measures that would put us on a par with the most oppressive nations in the world.”

I happen to agree with him; in my opinion these bills are another step in the continued corporate and government takeover of the individual and our rights. There is a reason the founders opened the bill of rights with the freedom of speech, it is one the most important rights we have, allowing us to be able to express ourselves and be heard while hearing the expressions of others. Freedom of speech is essential to democracy; it combined with a reasonable expectation of privacy make our society a better place. These bills however will accomplish quite the opposite. All you have to do is look to Iran, China, and their like to see what censorship and the prying eyes of government can do to a society. If you share these sentiments take to the web, write your representatives, and sign one of the many online petitions making their way to Washington. I think our first President and hero of the Revolution said it best “If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter”, I know I am not a fucking sheep, are you?

S'been a long time...

Sorry to anyone who keeps up with us. I can't speak for the rest of these Goons, but the Mrs and I have had our hands full of our new lil guy. He showed up on Halloween, and everyone is great. Between taking care of Elijah and Mom, had to hit it hard at school and work. Don't let anyone tell ya bringing baby home is easy or not too bad. Shit is work, son. But then you see this

                                                                              and ya knida forget about being up every 2 hours. Dude had been 2 years in the making. Already a stellar dude and cool cat.

It's our duty

Jesus I have fucking neglected this site but that all has changed starting today folks. New times, new beginnings and for me a new ID (no more WV inbred bs).
But seriously, and in all honesty this may be one of the few times I ever sound like a PR announcement.

Go VOTE! It's your duty.

ZOOL!!!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

The Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope

It seemed such a simple task, thirteen days ago: one movie a day, every day, through Halloween.

I made the initial deadline with a review of a horrible little gem of filth titled Exorcismus; I find it strange that the worst film I have ever forced myself to witness was enough to keep me away from Netflix for two weeks. It put me into such a God awful funk that every time I would begin to watch a movie, I would spend the entire time nitpicking all of the little things that make a horror movie, well...horror. These films are supposed to have an inherent corniness to them, yet Exorcismus had such a profound effect on me, that I couldn't help but hate that exact aspect of them. This, doubled with an enhanced workload and a brutal fight with illness, kept me away from the Goon Squad.

I am back from the dead, however: this past Sunday marked the glorious return of the AMC original series The Walking Dead, as well as the onset of AMC's Fear Fest (possibly the best two weeks of programming any station offers during the year). With hopes high, I returned to Netflix Tuesday night with my first viewing of Kevin Smith's Red State (2011).

Alongside the Rev, I have followed this movie since it was first whispered that Smith would be delving into the fantastic world of horror. When it became clear that he would be tackling this project with such a novel release strategy, I became somewhat obsessed with what the outcome would be. I even attempted, back in May, to host one of the special screenings that Smith was offering, but understandable concerns prevented anything from coming to fruition.

Even though I have had numerous opportunities before Tuesday to watch it, I hadn't. It was worth the wait, however: Red State was ridiculously intense. Rarely do I find myself so anxious to immediately re-watch a movie, but Red State had me wanting more. If I have any complaint, it is that the film is nowhere near long enough; it easily could have gone on for another hour. James Parks' Mordechai was, simply put, one of the very talented actors finest roles; he attacked it with a severity that few are capable of. I could have listened to his religious rant for hours.

The gist of the film is simple enough, for those not aware of Red State: a trio of teens head to the town of Cooper's Dell for a random sex hook-up. Things take a turn for the strange, though, when the boys find themselves prisoners of the Five Point Church (fleeting thoughts of another, much more real cult, ahem, church), led by Mordechai. After the local sheriff gets involved, the ATF join the fray (allusions to other actual events from the past 30 years).

Besides James Parks, Red State also stars Kyle Gallner, Stephen Root, and John Goodman. I HIGHLY recommend that everyone watch this film. Kevin Smith has made something truly special here; I couldn't help, when talking to a friend the next day, mentioning that I think this is kind of Smith's American History X. In no way does it promote the kind of extremism that the Five Point Church utilizes, but it gives you a view of what that same extremism is capable of leading to.

Later tonight, I will be posting my review of the 1999 Japanese horror film, Audition, a movie that Eli Roth, Rob Zombie, and John Landis all said was hard to watch for it's graphic scenes of torture. Here's looking forward to tonight!

Appalachian Nation: We're All In This Thing Together

Read any news headline and it is fairly obvious that we are living in turbulent times right now in these United States of America. From high unemployment, two wars in the Middle East, civil unrest, climate change, and unchecked corporate greed the picture for the future looks grim.

It seems that the country has become divided now more than anytime since the Civil War. Conservative and Liberal talking heads take to the airwaves on a daily basis in a unending war of vitriol. Congress has become so mired in partisan politics it can do nothing to improve the state of the country. America is falling behind the rest of the world at alarming rates in areas of extreme importance. An overwhelming majority of Americans believe the nation is headed in the wrong direction. The question then becomes how do we get back on the right course, how do we change direction for the good of all citizens?

In order to answer this question one has to look at what has brought us to this point. In my opinion it is politics of division and distraction. Ancient military genius Sun Tzu speaks of the strategy of divide and conquer in his seminal work the Art of War. It appears that those who are in charge of this country are well aware of the effectiveness of this tactic. Our national dialogue has degraded from one of unity spelled out very clearly in our nations name the UNITED States of American into one of us v. them. Our nation has become something resembling the rivalry between the University of Kentucky and the University of Louisville on steroids, Red v. Blue, Democrat v. Republican, and Liberal v. Conservative.

This has created an environment of disengagement from the political process intended by our founding fathers, who adopted the motto E. Pluribus Unum (Out of many, one) adopted by an act of congress in 1782. These methods of division and distraction have allowed for our nation to be high jacked by special interest groups, multi-national corporations, and the richest 1%. While the middle class and working poor bicker and argue over conservative this, liberal that. The aforementioned interest have seized control of the power, they release talking point after talking point paraded out by their "political strategist" to fan the flames of division. Keeping the American public distracted. This was never more evident than in the recent ruling by the United States Supreme Court (USSC) in the case Citizens United (don’t be fooled by the title) v. Federal Election Commission. This ruling opened the door for an unprecedented flood of money into our political system. Essential driving home the final stage in the take over of our system by the wealthy and corporations alike set in movement way back in 1886 in the USSC case Santa Clara County v. Southern Pacific Railroad. Now these special interest groups can push there agenda in anyway they see fit by playing to the greed and corruption of those in office.

Here is the kicker though it doesn’t have to be this way and we don’t have to stand by idly. Our founding fathers gave us a way out, it is called the constitution. The first amendment gives us the right to free speech and assembly. We were provided with voting rights in order overhaul our system as we see fit. We just have to exercise these rights. We have to wake up and move past the politics of distraction and division that those who seek to control and monopolize this country have used to take us to where we are today.

You see it is simple; we are all in this thing together. Not conservative v. liberal, red v. blue, rich v. poor. No matter our difference of opinions we all live as free men and women under one banner that of Americans. We can work together like we have in the past to move our country into a better future for all of our nation’s citizens rather than the benefit of the few. We can demand better but it won’t be possible without first setting aside what tears us apart and focusing on what brings us together. The motto of our great Commonwealth of Kentucky is quite fitting given the state of the union today. UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL.

Night I: What happened to exorcism movies?

Starring pop legend Kei$ha!

Not really...but I can't help but wonder if this would have been more watchable if it did.

My intention was to kick this off with "Horde", but due to some technical difficulties, it has been delayed to a later installment. Anywho, I've decided to kick things off tonight with this little piece of vile garbage, "Exorcismus".

Honestly, I entered into this movie with slightly heightened expectations due to the presence of Pinhead himself, Doug Bradley. I thought to myself that any movie featuring the lead Cenobite himself as a priest faced with a case of possession would be worth two hours of my life, but I was horribly mistaken. Exorcismus starts off a jumbled mess: shitty editing leaves one wondering what exactly is going on, and if you aren't careful, you will quickly find yourself wondering "what the holy fuck have I stumbled into?! What blithering bat-shit fuck-crazy chicanery is THIS?" After fumbling right out of the gate, at no point does this travesty find it's pacing (not that it is ever given the chance to).

Heading into the third act, which in a movie dealing with exorcism tends to be the strongest part of the film, there was still no sign of Mr. Bradley. With less than a fifth of the movie left, however, he finally staggers into the production like Jack Sullivan entering the 72nd round: Doug obviously had fun with the role, but seems a slight bit confused the entire time as to why he is even in the picture. ANYONE could have been used in his place, and the budget of this film would probably have been reduced by three-quarters.

I am a little disappointed in myself right now; I really wanted to kick things off with a bang, but this movie put me in a funk that I have yet to recover from. I am disheartened that the exorcism genre has fallen to such lows, especially when some of the greatest horror movies of all time can be found in it's hallowed territory. Hopefully tomorrow's movie, "Cronos", will more than make up for this abortion and restore my faith in the genre. I have witnessed too much crap calling itself horror these past few weeks, and am in serious need of some quality scares.