Further Observations on Low Budget Film

DISCLAIMER: This may get a little technical, but it is totally worth drudging through.

September 9th, 2011, saw sixteen new films open in North America. Of those sixteen, only four were truly considered "wide releases" (which means that the film premiered on at least 600 screens). Taking the top spot, Contagion opened to a better than expected $22,403,596, allowing Warner Brothers to already recoup a third of their budget. Playing on 3,222 screens, the film had an average take of $6,953 from each theater it played in. These are fairly impressive numbers for a release in September, which tends to find itself the dumping ground for sub-par releases.

The second widest released film from this past weekend was the MMA drama Warrior, which grossed $5,242,107 and finished third (behind Disney's powerhouse The Help). This is, by no means, a horrible opening for a movie that was made for $25 million: Lionsgate nabbed $2,805 from each of Warrior's 1,869 screens.

Adam Sandler's Happy Madison Productions (owned by Sony) claimed third amongst the new releases with Bucky Larson: Born to Be A Star; coming in at fifteenth, it only managed to pull in $1,415,023. I'm a little shocked, to be honest, with the amazing ad campaign Comedy Central has been running for weeks...

On that note, I have to take off on a rant for just a moment. Before I saw the atrocious TV spots for Larson on Comedy Central, I actually wanted to see this film. I mean, Grandma's Boy is hilarious, and it didn't do well in theaters. However, by the end of the first time I saw the bat-shit crazy commercial on Comedy Central, I wanted to run out into the streets and kill everything that drew breath. The inner Gypsy in me wandered what cruel curse has been bestowed upon me. I honestly looked for one of the ads to link in here, but it seems that fear of them making the interwebs violently implode has kept anyone from posting any of them.

...anywho, Larson opened on 1,500 screens and averaged $943 at each theater. Being a theater manager, this is the kind of film that makes me hate movie studios. These films have a taint on them that hurts every other movie playing in the same building!

Sorry. I really am finished ranting about Bucky Larson now. The only other thing I want to point out about it is that, even with such lousy numbers, it managed to make back a full tenth of it's budget. So, to review, we have three new releases that managed to make back 1/3 (#1 Contagion), 1/5 (#3 Warrior), and 1/10 (#15 Bucky Larson) of their budgets. Each od the studios involved are fairly content, knowing that there was no real loss in their investments. Sony has the biggest chance of getting burnt, but for every bad release Happy Madison puts in theaters, they have two or three that have returns in the HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS.

Finally, we arrive at this past weekends fourth wide release, Creature (Bubble Distribution). Coming in at 29th overall (there are currently 127 films in distribution across North America), Creature grossed $327,000; that's only $217 from each of the 1,507 theaters it played in. When you stack that up against the other three, this film seems like it is deserving of the Godzilla Facepalm. I mean, that can't even be 1/25th of it's budget, can it? CAN IT?!?

IT IS

Creature is a micro budget film, meaning that it was made for somewhere in the thousands of dollars. Generally, a studio doesn't have to release how much a film cost to produce if they spent less than $100,000 in it's making. Having said that, Creature did something that none of the other wide releases could ever have hoped to manage on their opening weekends: it grossed back somewhere between three and ELEVEN HUNDRED times it's budget. This is nothing short of phenomenal.

Before I go any further, I just want to make it clear: I have seen none of these movies. I do want to catch each of them, but will most likely wait for each of them to show up on Netflix before doing so...with the sole exception of Creature. I have no doubt, after watching the trailer, that it is probably a film better suited to the confines of SyFy (as I'm sure it will find a permanent home in their line-up in the coming years). Nor do I hold any hope that it is a good film: the point is, some people got together, made a movie, had it released nationally, and are reaping the rewards for their dedication. In doing so, these men and women have earned my money, and I fully intend for them to have it.

Coming full circle back to my review of Brother Tom last week, I do not want to see these types of films vanish. The micro budget film is quickly finding itself in the same boat with short films, and they're both struggling to keep it afloat. Support all forms of film, not only what Hollywood deems worthy of dipping their fingers in. My hat is off to each person involved in the creation of Creature: I hope that by this time next year, I can claim to be a member of your club. I also fully expect you to come see ours, if you get the chance. If we don't support each other, than why would any of us want to give it another go?

Metal-awesome

When it comes to art, I'm in the majority. If I see something I like, I can afford it, and have the space for it; I'll buy it.

My art tastes focus mainly on movie posters, stuff I've stolen I've found, pre-framed tattoo art (and art of tattoos I ended up getting, sports memorabilia, etc.

As I've aged and experienced more, I like to take consideration of bar decorations because of the comfortable feel I associate to drinking and old times with friends. One cool bar I've frequented over the last couple of years being Lynaugh's. Looking up to see many bicycles hanging upside down is always entertaining to me.

While browsing the internet's repost kingdom of Reddit, I find my new art obsession.

I definitely plan to submit a personal photo and have my likeness made into a metal statue.

Old Times

In college, there was a lot of time one could dedicate to getting drunk being social. Parties would start early, and sometimes, in good company, last until the sun came up.

As I got older, and let go of my clutch on college life; time for going out became scarce. Conversations over drinks became double dates and texts. Friends that I held as close as family, became once a year visits. A night of bar hopping became 2 hours at a 'not so busy bar'. 6 beers to get me drunk turned into a very expensive adventure to the liquor store. If I could get drunk and puke on myself at my age, I would consider myself lucky for finding the time.

Getting older sucks. But then I found this glorious educational video.

I plan to experiment with this profusely in the very soon future.

The Kids Aren't Alright

Yesterday during another soul draining day at the office I was once again, unfortunately for my sanity, forced to listen to a co worker ramble on about her kid’s soccer game tonight and how she was on the 10 year old all-star team last year (wow now that’s big time) and who beat who by how many goals and yada yada yada. This has happened on multiple occasions with several of my comrades in the office. But this time it got me thinking, aside from the usual, I don’t give a shit, about the current kiddie ruled world we now all inhabit and how much I fucking hate it.




It has now become the norm to put your child on some sort of fucking pedestal like they rule the universe and let them run rampant over their parents and other adults. For example you go to a restaurant and it’s a guarantee you will see some family with 3 of these little shits none older than 8 trying to order for their damn selves, while their self important parents look on and give themselves a big pat on the back for how independent their helping them to be. Meanwhile the waiter, I have been there myself, has to repeat over and over “look kid we don’t have kool aid here would you like something else” trying to ignore the fact he is treating a four year old like he is twenty five and all his tables are packed waiting for their fucking alcohol knowing this tip will be shit anyway. When all along the goddamn parents end up ordering for them like they should have to begin with. Or when you’re invited to a friend who has children’s home to hang out and the channel is never changed from the mind numbing psychedelic trip that is Yo Gabba Gabba! (Which would be fine if I had just eaten an eighth of shrooms...but we cant, why? fucking kids) and have to sit through endless “hey watch this I can twirl in a circle” shit, while again the parents rather than saying this is adult time and you need to go play, look on like their kid is Mikhail Baryshnikov.

I don’t have anything against children or families I just think they should take the Rock’s advice and know their role. What happened to children are to be seen not heard? I longed as a child for the day when I could become an adult and be part of the ruling age and my voice be heard. When I could drink copious amounts of alcohol, do drugs like a rock star, have reckless sex. Go to dirty dive bars, smoke cigars, drive excessive speeds on the highway, slap ho’s. You know the usual stuff kids of our era dreamed for when we escaped the prison of childhood. And now that’s here the script has been flipped and the kids rule while the adults pander.

Well I say fuck that!! Put them in their place, let them be children and when they are old enough to have hair on their balls they can order for themselves, watch whatever the hell they want, and do whatever else suits them. But for now they will bow to their masters just like we had too. And those of us who don’t have children with active social lives, expendable incomes, a spirit and zest for life still intact will do what we dreamed of when kids were kids. Getting into all the depraved and twisted debauchery adult life has to offer.

Beard watch - Day 7

Sorry about the lack of posts on this. I've just been really busy. I've been drinking more.

Here's days 5 and 7.




Day 5




Day 7...I don't look happy.

Born this way...

Since I posted about pop culture yesterday and I didn't talk about the good and creative things happening in the now, this felt so appropriate...

I can't say that I'm a HUGE Lady Gaga fan, I do however think she is brilliant even if she's annoying at times. I love high fashion and she is always in the category of outrageous. If someone would do my hair and makeup like that every day and I could get away with it, I would be doing the same. If my body was that tiny, I would be wearing next to nothing or the craziest things I could find. It's empowering and a beautiful way to say "fuck you." I love fresh ideas in music and she is one of the only artists these days bringing that to the table. She's ballsy and it's wonderful. I give her major kudos, so when I saw this magazine cover today, I think I fell in love with her even more.

Brother Tom Review

The short film is far too under-rated.

The blame lies in the hands of directors such as Michael Bay, Zack Snyder, and Gore Verbinski. And yes, before we go any further, let me go ahead and get it out there that I am a huge fanboy of Bay and Snyder (interesting fact: the two were college roommates). Anywho, these gentlemen have been delivering to us, on an almost annual basis for the past decade, films of such an epic proportion that short films have become a thing of the past. They still get made, and some may even find themselves getting the remake treatment into full-length features; more often than not, though, they just don't get watched.

Which is sad; shorts offer a director the chance to create a very deep, meaningful film without the need of a ridiculous budget. Case in point: Nick's Flicks latest short, Brother Tom. I had the honor of getting to see this fine film last week, but tonight saw it premiering at the Morehead Cinemas for the cast and crew (the second such time that we have premiered a Nick's Flicks short), which means that I can finally post my review for it!Toby Glover as the titular Brother Tom

Of course, I am more than a little excited to be doing this, for a number of reasons: 1) as a member of the team, it's free press. I can't even try to lie about that...2) this is the first "modern" production that I have had no active participation in. I had discussed it many times in the past with Nick [Johnson], but was not on set at any point...and 3) Brother Tom is an incredibly powerful movie.

In a nutshell, and sans any spoilers, Brother Tom is the story of a group of people that have lost their faith, for one reason or another; the titular Tom, though, is there for them when they needed him most, with his own outlook on faith. Through the course of the short (which clocks in right around 20 minutes), we learn a little about each member of this group, which is where the movie shines it's brightest. Nick assembled an excellent cast for this production, which is full of familiar faces. However, the introduction of Michele Breeze as one of Tom's followers brings an added bit of power; she absolutely owns the camera when she is on screen. In fact, this is really the first time that the cast for one of Nick's Flicks productions shines as a whole; in the past, things have always been lighter and more relaxed due to the comedic fare, but this is a wholly different beast.
Will Johnson and Michele Breeze

I highly recommend that you check this out when the opportunity arises. It's hard to believe that, in less than 30 minutes, you get more a more emotional ride than you could hope to find in most of this past summers blockbusters. Nick has taken the first step towards something great with this, and I am ecstatic that I am along for the ride, particularly with the upcoming slate for us: first up, the highly anticipated (at least by those who have seen More Than A Feeling and Plan B) finale to the trilogy of films that revitalized Nick's Flicks two years ago (in which I play the villain, Hilarity ensues), and secondly, the biggie, which, as of this posting, still has an embargo on anything I might say about it, so just trust me when I say it is going to blow you away.

Alright! I will lay off shoving Nick's Flicks down your throats, but only for a while: there will be plenty more in the future, but the next few weeks will see me trying to tap into Gonzo. The good doctor beckons, and I feel that I must heed the call of the beast and satiate it. In the meantime, the links for MTAF and Plan B above will take you to youtube, where you can watch them in their entirety; they are, however, only the links for part 1, respectively, so you will need to click over to finish them. You'll never listen to Chris Isacc's classic "Wicked Games" the same again.

Being drunk compared to sober

Over the weekend, I found myself at a wedding. Very tasteful event with an open bar.
An open bar with no limit.

I found myself in the usual situation I find myself in when any alcohol you want is offered for free and with a smile.




Somehow, I managed to keep a leash on myself and didn't get too out of hand...not until the DJ played Shout.

I told you this, to present the video I found today. A very good/accurate portrayal of being sober opposed to be drunk.

Re-watching, re-listening, re-reading...what are we creating?

Today as I was reading news with my noon o'clock breakfast, I was posed with an interesting question. Has our access to our past via YouTube and other sources made us care less about our future? I woke up thinking about the son I am a few weeks away from having and how myself, my husband and all of my friends think that if we could we would share nothing but cartoons of our childhood with our children. We are all in our 20's and early 30's obsessed with the 90's, 90's revivalists if you wish to term it. We get overly excited when Netflix adds seasons of our old Nickelodeon and Disney loves, we think it's the coolest thing ever when Pulp Fiction and other "classics" are back in theaters for one night, we still quote MTV from the good days of Beavis and Butthead and Daria, the majority of us were beyond thrilled to hear Blink 182 was touring together again and making a new album...we just have to face it. We are obsessed with our past.

I wanted to think for awhile it was just a "nerd" thing, but as I think about pop culture in America all I can think of in a mainstream fashion is reunion tours, re-formations, remakes, sequels, tributes and reruns of all our favorite shows from decades past, all of it good and bad is resurfacing constantly. Are we working on the death of pop culture itself? What happens when we run out of past to obsess over? Generations before us loved what they had, they reminisced about it, they still may think it's the best, but they still were awake and alert enough to realize that there's a whole world of creation there, a whole world of imagination that needed to be shared. Why does my generation think that we can't top what's been done? What has caused us to stoop so low as reality TV? Because of what we had, how it shaped our lives and how wonderful we still know it is, we should have the biggest imaginations and the most heart...but we seem dry and heartless.

I can't think of a society that has been so obsessed with the culture of their own immediate past and it makes me wonder if in 2020, we will all finally be burnt out on the 90's and revisiting the 00's and still not looking forward to what could be?

Until I have some sort of answer at the age of 32, I will be just as guilty as everyone else and leave you with:

"Stand firm for what you believe in until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong. Remember when the Emperor looks naked, the Emperor is naked. The truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing and there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza."-Daria

The Poet's Corner

This week’s topic: Urban Spoken Word

I am a major fan of poetry be it the classics like Whitman or modern day works like Angelou. But yesterday I started to think of a medium of poetry that is often over looked and it upset me that it rarely gets the credit it deserves, of course I am talking about the urban spoken word style. These works often tell the ugly truth about the existence that is modern day American life in the big city, sometimes with words alone other times accompanied with music. People tend to write these artists and their works off by saying they are mentally weak and anyone can do it. I say nay to that and present an excerpt from the highest form of urban spoken word, gangsta rap, for your consideration.

I have chosen the artist Spice 1 and his work “Born 2 Die”. Now many other choices would have worked, classics like Dr. Dre and his “Nothing but a G thang” or 2 live crew with “Me So Horny” or the quintessential 504 Boy’s “I can tell”. But none of those touch the heart of the inner city quite like Spice 1’s masterpiece. It’s the tale of a tortured man and his twisted mind, with guns that telepathically speak to their owner, copious amounts of blood and technical word play that would make Shakespeare blush with envy. The line “My granddaddy Mr. AR-15, said he was my only family shoot straight and please don’t jam me.” Cuts to the heart of family relationships with such intensity Keats would hang his head in shame. Another example “One for the glock, two for the clip, bullets in your ass make you hop and skip”. Written with such an original lyrical style it makes Dante’s work seem like jingles for a feminine hygiene product. Or my personal favorite the classic line on urban decay “AK spray beat your body as it lay on the concrete, die in one beat of the heart, seven day old ass body smell a little tart”. That’s just the tip of the iceberg with the depths this piece penetrates, it's quite easy to get lost in contemplation when listening.

What says you poetry snobs, still not convinced of the gravity and artistry of these street sages? Then I suggest you strap in to the roller coaster that is “Born 2 Die” and prepare to expand your mind. BEEEOTCH!!!