Splatter-porn or: When Good Directors Go Bad

I have been furiously tearing through the Gonzo papers since last I posted, doing research for a future article on "The Ten Most Important Pieces of Gonzo Journalism"; it is slow going, as there are so damn many of them. Trust me when I say, however, that this is not a bad thing. For those not in the know, Gonzo is a form of journalism considered dead since February 20, 2005, when the good doctor decided that there was no more fun.

I digress: today is not about Gonzo or Hunter. No, today I want to talk a little bit about Dutch filmmaker Tom Six and his two most recent directorial efforts, The Human Centipede [First Sequence] and The Human Centipede II [Full Sequence]. This post is going to be split into two parts: the first concerning my thoughts on Human Centipede and what it meant to horror as a genre upon it's release, while the second will cover my initial reactions and musings on the reviews for Full Sequence just now coming out of Fantastic Fest.


The Human Centipede [First Sequence], written and directed by Mr. Six, was released on April 28, 2010 to much controversy; here was a film that told the story of a doctor so fascinated with the Nazi experiments during World War II (and centipedes...let's not forget that) that he kidnaps three tourists so that he can, "with 100% medical accuracy", conjoin them ass-to-mouth to form his very own human centipede (such subtlety in the title).

My initial reaction to this was "holy God damn shit, I have to see this movie!" I mean, c'mon: I came out of 2 girls 1 cup laughing uncontrollably at the fact that the hype and reaction videos didn't live up to what I saw. I went in expecting nothing short of something spectacularly vulgar that would change my very concept of how the world worked. Instead, I left with a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had just been hosed on such a grand level, and that there was nothing on this planet that would make me look at things differently.

I had high hopes for Tom Six's masterpiece. The reviews were ridiculous, and everyone seemed to think that this was IT; this was the one that would change the horror genre, finally pushing it into bold, previously uncharted waters of disgusting gore that we had yet to see. What I got, though, was an absolute shit-film that has almost no gross factor to it all. And no, I am not going to go into a fully detailed recounting of what I bore witness to that night, but I will tell you that I absolutely do not recommend watching it; it is a waste of time. Coming from someone that loves film in all of it's diverse forms, that is what you call a condemnation of the highest sort. The only redeeming factor of the film was Dieter Laser, the man behind the doctor. He was superb, relishing his role in a way that only some bastard hybrid of Christopher Walken and Udo Kier can. In fact, if Platinum Dunes ever decides to give this the remake treatment, I hope they get one of these two to fill the role.


At Fantastic Fest this past week, The Human Centipede II [Full Sequence] made it's premiere as part of their midnight horror series. The reviews for it have been wildly varied, but two in particular, from two men that I tend to actually put stock in (since they tend to agree on movies and I almost always agree with them), are the only ones that I am going to pay attention to.

The first comes from Collider.com, and is written by Scott Wampler. Scott and I disagreed on the first Centipede (he loved it, I hated it), so I have a feeling that I am absolutely going to hate this one (he loves it). And this actually makes me a little sad, as he makes it a point of mentioning that this one is full of ALL THE THINGS that I was hoping for in the first one. The only problem I have with his review, though, and the thing that is sending me into watching this movie with a negative outlook, is that it seems that Tom Six has let what everyone said about the first movie go to his head. The whole synopsis is included up there in the link if you care to read it, but that's the problem: he sacrificed any semblance of a good horror premise and seems to have transcended into the almost realm of snuff. Having said that, I don't care either way for snuff films, but I do care if a movie is awesome/great/merely good/meh/terrible/fucking shit, and snuff tends to fall in that last category, with the biggest notable exception being Ruggero Deodato's Cannibal Holocaust, which can not only be argued as being the first in it's genre, but also for establishing the found-footage film as a serious contender in horror (oh, and if you are curious, it falls under awesome).

The other review, from Quint over at Ain't It Cool (AICN has turned into a giant, steaming pile of dog shit over the past five years under the thumb of Harry Knowles, but that is neither here or there. Capone and Quint are both still worth following). Needless to say, Quint has all of the problems with the movie that I addressed above, and I feel a little vindicated in advance of watching it that we share some opinions concerning Full Sequence, and I haven't even seen it yet. I would post his review, but I refuse to support AICN anymore than I have to, so you will have to go over there and check it out yourself if you really want to read it.

I lost sight of the end goal in there somewhere, ranting about what a horrible travesty that Tom Six and his films are, but, like any person dedicated to film, I am going to make the journey back into his world to see this for myself. Fellow Goon Squad contributor Jordan Youmans and I watched the first one, and we are patiently waiting for this one to be available to us for final judgment, but I have very low expectations. Six is planning a third installment, but hopefully this one will be atrocious enough of a parody of filmmaking that no one will support him in his endeavors.